I was sitting in my room, as usual, stearing at this stupid computer screen thinking about the situation I am falling into and I couldnt help but be overwelmed. The idea that once was in my head is now becoming a reality. Im am trapped in that feeling somewhere inbetween my dreams and waking.

Talked to my mom today. She seemed extreamly shocked and kept saying "WHAT!? WHAT?!" Then went the questions. The over all conversation got me re-thinking my choices. Im a little nervous on what my mom will come up with now that she is "thinking", but I'll find out soon enough. They will be here in Utah next Tuesday. Just telling them my plans have put the idea out in the open and I feel like there is no turning back, and that kind of scared me a little. But then I looked at my reasoning and felt in my heart and heard this song and all doubt was erased for good. If i just follow my heart and feel for the truth, nothing will get in my way. And if something does get in my way I will be able to handle it with confidence and an openmind because I am doing what I feel is right.

Here are the lyrics to the song I heard.

The Taste of Ink
By: The Used*

Is it worth it can you even hear me
Standing with your spotlight on me
Not enough to feed the hungry
I'm tired and I felt it for awhile now
in this sea of lonely
The taste of ink is getting old
It's four o'clock in the fucking morning
Each day gets more and more like the last day
still i can see it comming
While I'm standing in the river drowning
This could be my chance to break out
this could be my chance to say goodbye
at last it's finally over
couldn't take this town much longer
Being half dead wasn't what I planned to be
Now i'm ready to be free
So here I am it's in my hands
and i'll savor every moment of this
so here I am alive at last
and i'll savor every moment of this

and won't you think i'm pretty
when im standing top the bright lit city
and i'll take your hand and pick you up
and keep you there so you can see
as long as you're alive and care
I promise I will take you there
and we'll drink and dance the night away

As long as you're alive
Here I am
I promise I will take you there....

For now I am going to keep this dream a mystery to those on the outside. I will share soon...