So now my move is out in the open for everyone (subtract my job) to do as they wish with. I was getting rid of a lot of "junk" I have collected here. I found some papers I wrote before I moved to salt lake. Here is what I wrote in one of them:

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I'm packing my bags and heading to the great land of the Mormons and I don’t know what the hell I’m doing! It maybe what I want? I guess I won’t know until I get there. See this is what just entered my poor little lazy mind. What if this turns out to be something I don’t want to do?! I'm afraid that I'll go to college at the U of U, loose track of what's really important to me, and end up in a hole I dug myself into. I'll have no shovel, and I'll have a kid and a bitch of a wife pulling on my legs begging me to stay. I'll then turn Mormon...enough said. I don’t want to loose my dreams! I guess I'm going to have to take a chance and well, if I end up that way, then I do. And if I don’t, then I’m on my way!

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Its fun to look back and see how I was feeling before I moved here and know how I feel about leaving here. I feel it so much in my heart that moving to Chicago is the right thing to do its almost unbearable at times, but that is not to say I don’t have fears and worries. I’m only human. But the fears I had about Salt Lake City before I moved are nowhere to be found. I guess they cant be because its what I am leaving behind.

It makes me sad to read my fears about moving here and then to look at my reasoning for leaving. I have been living my nightmares instead of my dreams. My worst fears became a reality. I'm thankful for waking up when I did before I created a Holocaust for dead dreams and forgotten love and called it a life.

But yeah, I’m alive now. I've picked a direction, and I will try to climb the mountain of life once again. Hopefully this time I will have more of the supplies needed to survive.