Jesus! Now that I have a job its hard to keep up with this thing. My thoughts and ideas keep piling up. It’s quite difficult to get them all up here.

I withdrew from the University of Utah today. No more school for another 4 1/2 months. Now all there is left to do is spread the word and pack. Spencer didn’t call me until about 11pm today, so I didn’t get a chance to talk to him. I guess I will have to do that tomorrow over coffee.

I got a B- in my Spanish class! I couldn’t believe it. I am still shitting my pants with disbelief. My new GPA is going to look a lot better for the folk’ back east.

Getting a B- in Spanish just added to my ball of good news and good fortune, but I still can’t help feel empty. When everything is going my way, I still feel this hallow void inside myself, witch leads me to turn my head away from this place a little more (as if it hasn’t been turn in the complete opposite direction already) I wonder if I would of ever came to the realization of the narrow grave I once called "my life in Utah" without the help of Jeannette and the echoes of my lost dreams. I look at where I once was laying and can only see a short path to a long empty road of blindness and vast array of narrow trails. I have my dreams back. I feel the energy pulling me towards a beautiful future and all I can do here is *sigh*..And wait.

Speaking of waiting. I sent an apology to my friend Krista. When She lived in Utah about a year and some months ago, she let me and Spencer use her car all we wanted if we put gas in it and changed the oil. We did all of this without question, but like cars will do, it broke down. The breaks went out. And me being the immature college student as I was at the time, got a big head and made here do all the work. She found a shot to take it too, towed it there, and paid for it. Then she asked me for cash. I refused for some time weather it was the lack of finances that was making me a brat or I was being a child and dealing with my personal problems with her and her boyfriend by refusing to pay. But after months of drama and 2 really angry people calling me all the time, I paid her my share and have hardly spoken to her since.

Now as most people do, I grew up in the past year and realized how convenient it is to have a car and how expensive it can be to fix it. And looking back at my attitude towards her and that particular problem I can’t help but feel a deep and regretful feeling in my heart.

I sent Krista an email (as I mentioned above) explaining my position, but mostly apologizing. She hasn’t sent one back. It’s been about 2 weeks now. My friend Alex said that Krista got the email but was not going to reply back. Its sad to think that I have hurt someone that bad that they do not want to have any contact with me what so ever, but it is more painful not being able to do anything about it. She is a good person and has never done me wrong. I guess all I can do now is gain the wisdom that this experience gave me and hope the harm I caused was minimal.